happy birthday boy!

tomorrow is dika's 18th birthday :)

idk why i still cant forget him. How stupid i am!
He's already had new gf now but... i still never willing that.
Its just maybe because i already know that he loved me, but i pretend it never happen because im too shy to admit it that i feel the same way too..

Now when he's already gone, i just realize that i miss him so much!! and i don't know how to do :(
i just cry and cry over and over again and conscious that i can't have him forever!


How stupid i am!


i really missed his touch, his softly voice, his laugh and everythings in him i missed!! Looks like its just bad dream that left in my head and becoming a big hole in my world (lol idk but it seems like this part is same like edward leaves bella but different surface)
Should i do something reckless and stupid like bella? LOL ofc no because dika isn't knight in silver volvo like edward who does stupid things like asked volturi to kill him because me. And i regret if now he even care if i died :(

I guess that's enough. I don't want to make a hole in my heart even bigger because it seems like it can be healed although might needed time until i find someone..

bye!
love ya and happy birthday my amoeba boy!! <3<3

xxx